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Monday, 10 September 2018

Everyone Is Trolling Kylie Jenner's New Photo, And It's Getting Out Of Hand

Everyone Is Trolling Kylie Jenner's New Photo, And It's Getting Out Of Hand

I don't know about you, but I'm one petty mothertrucker. 
If you take eight minutes to respond to my text message, I'll take eight days to respond back. If you're 15 minutes late to our lunch date, I'll be 30 minutes late to your wedding ceremony. And if you bail on our plans at the last minute, I'll slash your tires.
Alright, maybe not that last one... This is related to Kylie Jenner, I promise. 

You all know Kylie Jenner, 21-year-old billionaire and person whose Instagram account makes you feel like a penniless dirtbag, right?

What? I can't be the only one who gets a little sad looking at Kylie Jenner's life. 

For example, seeing Kylie match her orange Prada outfit to her orange Lamborghini Aventado and orange Mercedes G-Wagon.

Kylie captioned this photo, "Orange you glad it’s the weekend ;)," which is like, wow, I didn't know that rich people even knew what weekends were. I just figured every day was Saturday for Kylie.

Kylie also posted this photo because, as anyone who spends time on their hair and makeup knows, you can't go through all that effort to post only one photo.

But in the caption for the above photo, Kylie made a typo which can only be described as a cardinal sin to anyone who cares about spelling and grammar. 

 This one comes right after using the wrong there/their/they're.

And because the internet is powered by the pettiness of its users (this is a technological fact...which I just made up), people began trolling Kylie for her mistake.

 Now look, I know petty, and this is petty. Then again, what else are we, the poverty-stricken user-base of the internet, supposed to do with our time?

However, others pointed to how rich Kylie is (ugh, like I need to be reminded 😢) and how that basically made her exempt from any English language-related responsibilities

 The rule is that after you make your first billion, you can just slam your hands on a keyboard and use that as an Instagram caption. 

There was also an entirely different group of people who were concerned that Kylie had been cloned, like Arnold Schwarzenegger in The 6th Day.

But if you changed your hair 652 times a week, you'd probably look different from photo to photo, too.

 See above for an example of the word "too" being used appropriately in a sentence.

I mean, even this is Kylie Jenner. The woman is a beautiful shape-shifter. A magical chameleon. Mystique from X-Men.

 Are you not entertained?!

By the way, for anyone who's been following the Nicki Minaj/Travis Scott/Kylie Jenner drama, the Queen of Rap happened to like the orange-themed photo we've been discussing.

 Evidently, Nicki is also a fan of the color orange.

Anyway, Kylie Jenner's spelling slip-up isn't the worst Instagram caption fail by a Kardashian-Jenner.

 Actually, the caption on this photo of Kim Kardashian and a lollipop caused a lot more of a stir.

That's because the caption included an ad for Flat Tummy Co's Appetite Suppressant Lollipops, one of which Kim was modeling for the photo.

 The only hashtag more off-putting than #ad is #suckit.

Naturally, people were upset by the idea of Kim promoting a weight-loss product when her audience consists of primarily young women.

 Bad vibes, Kim. Bad. Vibes.

Others (possibly the same people making fun of Kylie's "too" mistake) were bothered by the words "literally" and "unreal" being used in conjunction. 

 It's kind of like saying something is really unreal or truly untrue.

But let's not sit here and act as if we've never made a spelling mistake, or used the word "literally" in the wrong context.

 I exclusively use the word "literally" in the wrong context, so, yeah.

And let's also remember that, although being fifthly rich doesn't excuse a person's grammatical errors, it probably does help the Kardashian-Jenners care a lot less about our petty corrections.

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